things I have learned, days one and two

 This is year five of me spending two weeks or so out of my summer grading exams for one of the major testing companies...this one specializing in college credit exams. I'm not going to tell any specific tales, as non-disclosure is a requirement of my contract (Hey! Now I know how a famous person's personal assistant feels!), but, at the beginning of day three, there are a lot of things I have learned:

1. I still hate Keureg coffee. We have acquired a second-hand machine that we're keeping in the basement for emergency purposes. Now, I'm normally an Aeropress guy, but, if I can stay on the clock and work a bit longer, I thought I'd give it a shot. My wife bought some pods, and yesterday, I gave it a try. The coffee was decidedly mediocre. I went online and did searches for "best k-cup coffee" in hopes of something good, but no, the brand of k-cups my wife bought was in the top 3 of every list I found. So unless someone suggests an actually good brand of k-cup, I'm sticking to my old methods.
2. When we did this grading in person, one of the available snacks for breaks were individual packs of trail mix. This is year two of grading from home, and now I have to have access to trail mix in order to grade. At no other time of the year do I even think of trail mix. Give me a few thousand essays to grade, and I'm an addict.
3. Each year I do this, I like to keep a running tally of people who the students reference. So far, this year's number one, surpassing even Edison, Hitler, and Jesus, is Miley Cyrus (sometimes in her Hannah Montana guise). I don't really understand this.
4. Read enough of these, and you can easily tell what books college credit high school students are reading. This year, the most often-cited novel is The Great Gatsby. Unlike me when I was that age, these students seem to realize the reader is supposed to hate most every character in the novel.
5. Additionally, tons of them seem to have watched Black Swan, the most referenced film so far. Whiplash, incidentally, is next in line.

All of these, however, pale into the biggest lesson I've learned. These students carry mental illness with them. They are familiar with anxiety and depression. School is, to a significant portion of them, a major source of stress. Many of them feel overwhelmed, almost to the breaking point with the pressure to succeed. Some have had flirtations with suicide. A shocking amount of them have had eating disorders.

Being a teenager is hard. I mean brutally hard. This is something I've never forgotten, and I urge none of you to ever look at your past with the hazy lens of nostalgia. Don't forget just how rough it can be, particularly when dealing with teens.

I've been teaching 23 years now (gulp), and whenever I hear anyone launch into some version of, "These kids today," my stomach turns. The longer I teach, the more respect I have for teenagers. They are all dealing with pressures the rest of us have somehow forgotten, yet, in spite of this, they generally handle said pressures with more grace that ever did I. The longer I teach, the more kind, caring, and empathetic the students seem to be...in spite of having to deal with Trumpers, conspiracy theory freaks, conservative gun nuts, and the like.

Respect the youth. They got it rough, and they need our encouragement if they're going to rescue us from this world which we've so kindly screwed up for them. 

Fall 2020

 I've been teaching now for 22+ years, and students never fail to astonish me. I've often thought that teaching is in part like falling in love many times a week. Students are generally nicer than I was at the time. They're generally more inquisitive than was I. They're more kind. And they're so full of potential. I get caught up in their lives for these brief 75 minute sessions, and then, four months later, they disappear from my life.

With very few exceptions, I teach first and second year courses. I hope to plant something that will help them get through the next few years and maybe leave a permanent mark. By the time students graduate, though, they've probably long forgotten about me, and I never get to see them progress. It's tough.

There have been a few times when I've run into old students, but not many of them. I remember running into one in the parking lot who had me four years before. He was becoming a teacher and doing his in-field work. He saw me and wanted to thank me for talking about stuff none of his other teachers mentioned. I was flattered and floored. I hope he's still doing okay, and I really, really wish I could remember his name.

This semester has been one for the books. My student have had to deal with an election from hell, with a global pandemic which seems to be without end, with the turmoil of the Black Lives Matter protests. This week, I gave them an extra credit assignment which simply asked them to tell me how they are doing. I just finished grading class three's responses, and my heart hurts for so many of them. Anxiety, depression, illness...more of them are affected than not. And I'm now only a face they see on their screens. I wish I could do so much more for them. I ache for them, really. 

If you know any young people, be nice to them. They are working through stuff farther than have any of us.

how to fix politics

Before we get going: obligatory buried in work/no time/sorry for not blogging/I will do better/album coming soon statement.

If I were to tell you the current political landscape is a mess, I would be telling you nothing that my nine year old doesn't already know. And if I were to expand on my personal politics (which, as I age, get more and more radical), I would probably only be helping to establish/adding to my FBI file. Besides, I'm still buried in work, so I will stick to something simpler: how to fix everything.

This morning, I ran across a pretty cool video on ranked voting:

It's hard for me to disagree with anything in this video, but it did inspire me to sketch out a plan for improving our sucky world of politics and elections. Some of these do require a non-contagious world to work, but we could filter them in one by one.Ready?

• Automatic vote registration. You turn 18, you are registered. It's gotta be easier for people to participate [source].
• Election day becomes a national holiday, and businesses that do not close are required to give employees a few hours off when the polls are open [source].
• A playground with supervision attached to every polling place. Having to look after the kids should not be an excuse. 
• Fail to vote? Then you are three times as likely to be called for jury duty.
• Early voting is mandated across the board. Everyone should have at least a month to vote [source].
• No questions absentee ballots. So far, no one has come up with any real evidence of organized voter fraud [source] [source] except maybe for the Republican Party in California putting up fake ballot drop-off boxes [source]. Note: it probably won't help them.
• Ranked voting. Having more than two parties is in everyone's interest [source]. We are not a binary society, so there's no reason our politics should be binary.
• Codify into law the common sense realization that corporations are not people [source].
• Term limits are pretty silly. If someone is doing a bad job, they will be voted out if elections are fair and equitable, and if people really have choice [source]. Saying, "you can only do two terms" is like saying, "sorry, we don't want people with experience."
• Electoral college? Sorry, you are too antiquated and stupid to survive. Nobody really liked you in the first place [source].
• A fair, codified order of succession. I was actually shocked to hear there's actually debate on if we have this. Specifically, if both the president and vice president were incapacitated, it's not clear whether the Speaker of the House can actually head the executive branch [source] [source]. There is the Presidential Succession Law, but there is debate on whether that's actually constitutional [source]. 

You see that in all of this, I have resisted the urge to be silly. THAT is how screwed up politics currently are.

(ps: did you know that if a source is behind a paywall, you can probably open it up in your broswer's incognito mode?)

the hang

After experiencing some of the standard hijinks at the pharmacy yesterday (We don't have your prescription! We have it but at the other location! We only have three pills, so you'll have to come back!), I decided to flip around on my MP3s on the ride home. Somehow, I landed on this song:


Way back when, I used to be the guitarist for Black Swamp Rats, and we were fairly regular fixtures of the local scene. We played repeatedly with a few bands, and one of them was Mennonite Death Race from Mansfield, Ohio. I don't know how we hooked up with them. They must've been friends of someone in the band.

First gig we played together, I (and the rest of my band) were blown away. They sounded so unlike anything I had ever heard, and the performances were overflowing with passion. I went to say hi to them after their set and ended up sitting with them for the rest of the time I wasn't actually on stage. In fact, I think they had to kick us out when the bar closed.

After that first gig, we played many shows together. We hit a number of places in our area, traveled out to Mansfield for a show on their turf, and played a Columbus gig later on. The bands, in other words, really bonded. One of my biggest sorrows of Black Swamp Rats breaking up was that I never got to hang out with Mennonite Death Race again.

Flash forward 8-9 years, and I haven't played a show in so long, it's not funny...certainly not since the COVID lockdown started. Some of my local venues are booking bands again, but as much as I need to play again, I have not submitted my name as a possible artist to anyone.

Why not? Well, I know everyone wants a return to normal, but that just is not wise right now. COVID, rather than going away, seems to be picking up steam. Infection rates are rising. Do I really want to lock myself in a room with strangers for several hours? I haven't even seen most of my friends in over three months. I'm certainly not going to risk my health or anyone else's for a show. And there's no way I can do a set while wearing a mask and face shield. My horrible voice is muffled enough as it is.

The problem, though, is that I miss it. I miss being on stage. I miss performing. I miss having people hear my songs. Most of all? I miss the hang. I miss talking to the bar staff, chatting with my bandmates, meeting the other bands, turning acquaintances into comrades.

The thing is, I don't know if any of it is ever coming back. Will the venues be able to survive if there's another shutdown? Will we ever be free of pandemics again? If things get bad, will we ever want to sit in a crowded bar again?

I don't know. I wish this was something I didn't have to think about, but I can't help wonder if I'm ever going to see my name on a flyer again. I can't help wondering, if life ever does return to normal, if I will have aged out of our music scene.

Right now, there's a hole in my life where shows used to be...and I know I'm not the only one.

Please find a way to support local musicians. Buy our music. Listen to our songs. Hell, at this point, I would be happy with a hug.

stasis fields

I'm lucky in that, throughout this pandemic, none of my friends or family have become sick. I'm lucky to still have a job. I'm lucky to have my wife, kid, and cat with me. I say this to make clear that I'm aware of my favored position.

But damn, I'm bored.

Very little happens. I mow the yard once a week. I clean house. I cook and do dishes. I record for an hour and a half each night. Rinse and repeat. Over and over.

I miss seeing friends. Hell, I miss seeing anyone other than my fellow grocery store shoppers. I miss having any sense of variety in my day, or in my week, or in my month. 

I really wish I could be sharing some news here, but there's no real news to share. 

If this is ever over? If we ever get to the point where we can hang out again with our friends in person? I just know we're going to be almost exploding for a conversational outlet...then we'll tell our friends how happy we are to see them....and then we'll realize we have utterly nothing to say.

Stasis is boring. 

album 3 update (or why Dell sucks)

The enforced isolation is having a weird affect on my third album. I've been trying to get this album done for a couple of years, but life has had a way of throwing obstacles up in my path. So you think that being not allowed to leave the house bit would mean time to record, right?

Of course things aren't going as smoothly as they should. My wife needs the computer all day for her work, and I still have to teach online after spending some time with the family. Truth is, I average about an hour of recording time a day. The only days I get sustained work time is on the weekends.

So I've been working in a piecemeal procedure, and, in spite of not ever being able to reach that mythical flow state, it actually has been going fairly well. All bass and drums are done. I've been bouncing back and forth between guitars and synths, and I've got over 50% of those done.

An hour here, an hour there is a pattern no professional musician would ever do but and is certainly not how I would ideally like to proceed. In spite of this, the album is actually working out pretty well. I have the time to really think out the arrangements, and I can also really focus on making all the sounds mesh. I'm already happy, and I bet the finished project will exceed my expectations.

Today, though, one of my few days with sustained work time, my computer decided to stop working. It's been giving me grief since I got it, with random freezes and crashes. I haven't even had it for a year, and nary a day goes by without me wanting to throw it against a wall.

What makes this so much annoying is that this is the first time I have ever bought a brand new computer. My last two machines have been refurbished units, and each one lasted about five years. So did I follow my tried and true method?

Of course not. I decided to get a new Dell. My computer guy at the University, upon seeing its specs, said it looked like the machine he was planning to build, but it only cheaper. So I thought I was set.

But no, my brand new Dell started screwing up that first week, and now, this about a year old machine is dead. Moreover, I am going to have to pay emergency repair rates, because my wife requires the desktop for her work. Sigh.

Somewhere, album three is locked in a digital prison, screaming for release. And it's jailor? Dell Computing.

another update on our future

A conversation in our house:

Me: Did I hear myself blamed for something?

Daughter: Not at all.

Spouse: Well, she did blame you for not being able to get online.

Daughter (sheepishly): Sorry, my good sir.

[General laughter]

Daughter: See, THAT is how you bank some credit.

And now you know what we've all got to look forward to when the future generation takes charge.

international weirdness

There's a pandemic going on, so you think that any weirdness would be along the illness lines. Maybe the weirdness would be the massive bread shortage at the grocery store. But no...the world is outdoing itself with the strangeness.

Yesterday, I was contacted by someone from the China internet domain registration people. Someone is trying to register the Chinese versions of my themikedubose.com domain and wanted to know if I was associated with them. I told him a firm no. Today, I was contacted by someone from the company who's trying to get the domain, and they were telling me that in spite of the domain guy recommending they try a new name, they are going ahead and gonna keep trying to poach my name.

So I wrote to my own domain registration people to see if there was anything I could do. Afterward, I decided to do some research, and I found out the company who wants the Chinese version of themikedubose is...a pharmaceutical company.

Naturally, I do not get this at all. My only hope is that they're going to name the COVID-19 cure after me for some reason. I would be okay with that as long as I get a bit of royalty payment.

This is what my life is like.

the future generation

My daughter was sick last week, and we had to keep her home from school a couple of days. When this happens, it's important to use your time wisely. So, two important milestones:

1. The real advancement we made happened when, somewhere within the morass of my daughter's awful YouTube videos (one person she watches calls himself, "the Christian Jake Paul"; when I told one of my classes this, a student observed, "that sounds horrible!" He was right.), I was able to introduce my darling child to Buckethead:
   
   
2. One morning, she told me that she was coughing way too much the night before, but she just watched an episode of Bob Ross:
   
   

Sothat's what you have to look forward to when the next generation takes over. You're welcome.

quandries and consciousness

I'm tired. Even though I got my normal amount of sleep last night, I woke up feeling like I did when I was 20 and pulling all-nighters. I woke up as sluggish as...hell, I was too tired to even think of a metaphor for my exhaustion.

The irony is not lost on me.

This semester, I moved from a four day a week schedule to just Mondays and Wednesdays on campus. This sounds like a benefit, but I now teach from basically 2:30 to 8:30. After three straight classes, my brain moves into lethargy.

But I also drop my daughter off at school around 8:30 am, so I'm up and about. I could go home for a few hours, but when I reached campus, parking would be nigh impossible. So I just head to campus, get a good parking spot, and get to work early in the day.

The problem, though, is  that then I'm on campus for almost 12 hours. By the end of the day, I'm damn near catatonic. I'm pretty much useless by the time I get home. I'm also not productive whatsoever the next day. I'm old enough (187 years old, I think) to where it takes some time to rebound.

So what should I do?  Tough out the long work day and embrace the next day lethargy? Or relax a bit before going to work, budget a half hour for finding parking, but then have to actually bring more work home?

I'll have to puzzle it over...but maybe after a nap.

faith in humanity

Most of my students, I have found out, are pessimists. They have no hope for the future of humanity. As I have, over the last few years, became a much more optimistic person, this makes me more than a little sad. I wish they'd just have a little more faith.

However, sometimes that faith gets tested.

I was walking to one of my classes the other day, and some complete stranger flagged me down. "Excuse me, sir," he asked. "do you believe in the moon landing?"

This took me by surprise. Out of all the questions I expected, Of course,  I panicked and went into smart ass mood. "Yes, I do...because I've been there," I replied, before getting the hell out of there..

Do I still have my faith in humanity? I dunno. However, I am now wondering if my university needs to rethink its entrance standards.

change and growth.

When I was 14 (or maybe 15; I really can't remember), I saved up money to buy my first guitar. This was hard as I didn't have a job, so I just took the money my parents gave me for school lunch and hid it away (sorry, mom). That first guitar was a Chicago-branded Les Paul clone. It wasn't really what you could call a great guitar. After a few months, the pickups started to fall out, and my brother had to screw them back in with wood screws. Still, I wish I still owned it, but, after I upgraded, my parents made me sell it (out of revenge for using my lunch money, maybe). I thought about looking for one online, but I can't find records of any of them existing.

I practiced a lot and basically learned how to play off of AC/DC and Black Sabbath records. I really wanted to play in a band, but bands kept eluding me. Jacksonville FL had way too many guitar players, and I never got in a situation that survived to getting a show. I was also working a whole lot (a probably illegal 35 hours a week while in school), and I'd often drop the guitar for months on end...and that certainly didn't help me on the band front.

Still, I kept trying right up until I got accepted into doctoral school. I dedicated myself entirely to my studies. Strangely enough, though, this is when my guitar playing started to really improve. In spite of my improvement, I always thought that playing out would just elude me forever. Then one weekend I went to the bar, and when I came out, I was in a band. We practiced, learned enough songs, and then we actually got a gig. At the age of 39, I played my first show.

The first band lasted a couple of years. After they broke up, I joined another band. I got band number three a few years later, and then band two broke up. I started playing in band four (an alt country outfit) about the same time I started doing solo shows. Band three broke up. I got my own band, which then broke up, new lineup, broke up, new lineup, and repeat a few times. Alt country band broke up, but I still kept playing shows.

Lately, though, I'm in a dead zone of shows. I used to do sets for a local booker and was playing about every month for a while. Then they quit booking shows. Then they started booking shows again, and I got one every few months. Then they quit booking me. Then, nine months later, they quit altogether.

Right now, I've had one gig in the last few months, and that was a songwriter showcase that had four people in the audience even though I invited everyone I know. I have absolutely nothing on the books right now, and that is way too familiar of a feeling.

By all rights, I should be panicking about the lack of shows, but if there's one thing I've learned on this voyage, it's that all movement is cyclical. As long as I keep working, something will happen. I'm just trying to keep myself ready.

Earlier this week, I was flipping around YouTube guitar videos, and I caught one about B.B. King taught by Tomo Fujita. I went down to the basement and ran through some of the material, and a lightbulb opened. Suddenly, the guitar just started making more sense. I realized that I've been doing this almost 35 years, and I'm still growing. If that's not motivation to keep going, I don't know what is.

So I'm about to pick up Reverend Guitar number two and get back to practicing. Later this week (after I get some grading done), it's time to turn back to album number three and get those guitars recorded. I am also contemplating other ways to get my music out. So look out for new moves.

get those engines firing

Man, it's been a while, right?

It's been a busy period. After a year in a cover band that never made any money, working too much, buying a house and moving, working too much, and generally trying to get my head straight, however, I am going to get back into the swing of things. I've already restarted my social media presence. It's time to rock.

I do foresee difficulties, though. The Toledo Promotion company whose been booking me is shutting down. My main musical collaborator is in a much more successful band and about to go back to a job with unpredictable hours. No matter. I will still rock.

Right now, I'm finishing up on some school prep work and working on my guitar playing (scale visualization, sweep picking, and the like). I've got drums and bass recorded for album number three. Next I lay down guitars. It's been in progress for too long, and it still has a ways to go, but the next TheMikeDuBose release (entitled Happy Go Lucky) will be done before you know it.

Nice to be back.

Emergency gig!

Hi all!

I'm playing a last minute set tonight (Wednesday, 6/9) at Stone's Throw in Bowling Green for Hump Day Review. I go on at 9:20, and I would love to see you there! There's a ton of good music (right after me, for instance, is the awesome Boo Lee Crosser), and I will have the 2019 Sylvia guitar picks if anyone's collecting.

TheMikeDuBose on the radio

Oh, my...has it really been that long?

Big events happening in TheMikeDuBose land! My second album Depression Monster is being played on the radio! I've made the rotation of WAKT 106.1 FM in Toledo (they also stream online), and you can hear me on the show "The View from Nowhere," which is (according to the host Alan Goldsmith) "two hours of eclectic free form radio with lots of locally sourced original music from the Streets of Toledo." This is really cool, because I get to hear myself alongside such great artists as Flat Earth Agenda, Zimmerman Twins, A.S. Coomer, and many others. May 4, they played "Hate Blues" (stream that episode here). I'm also going to be on tonight's show, so I'm looking forward to seeing what gets played tonight.

Things are quiet gig-wise, but I am working hard on album three. Drums are done, and as soon as I finished with this update, I'm working on bass and synth. We should have it ready to go by the end of the year at the latest.

Thanks for listening!

new music update

I've got two upcoming shows and news on the next album in the latest TheMikeDuBose news letter. Sign up via the link on the right!

holiday depression songs!

It's officially the holiday season. Well, if you believe your local big box store, that probably started immediately after Halloween. But we won't think of them, because it's almost December...so it's safe to display and decorate your holiday shrubbery.

This means, though, that it's finally allowable to play holiday music again. So, for all you holiday grinches and humbugs--or for everyone who has one in their life--may I present to you TheMikeDuBose's own festive song, "I Don't Wanna Be Depressed (This X-mas)!"



The mp3 is available at the TheMikeDuBose Bandcamp page, backed with the song "X-mas in the Drunk Tank). They make great digital stocking stuffers!

Oh, so does my new album Depression Monster, which you can also buy on Bandcamp.

memories of music

As I was driving to work today, I noticed a familiar sticker on the car in front of me. When we hit a stoplight, I was able to confirm that the vehicle in fact did have a sticker from my old band Analog Revolution. This blew me a way a little bit, as we were never all that popular on the scene. No massive following for us, in spite of original songs of which I'm still proud.

So seeing the sticker did in fact make me feel kind of proud...for a minute or so. Then I recognized another sticker on the car, and then I figured out that the car was in fact my old Buick, and whomever bought it just never bothered to peel off the old stickers. So my initial emotional high ended up turning into yet another example of "ah, that's life."

It did, however, make me wish more people saw that band. I do what I do because I have to, mostly for the sake of my own mental health. But doing music is still communication, and I do want people to hear my work. Sharing your efforts is an inevitable part of the process, and I am exceedingly proud of  my music. I just want enough people to come see me so no one gives me the old Gong Show hook.

I also want people to come see the newest version of my band. I'm thrilled to have musicians play with me who like my stuff, and it's wonderful to be able to present the songs in a fuller set-up. I am (coincidentally) playing tonight at Howard's Club H at 9pm. It will be the first time I've played there since January, and the first time I'm with my band since 2015. If you're in the area, please come. I will even have you home at a reasonable hour!

early October happenings

I have a band!

Using methods beyond my own comprehension, I have assembled yet another backing band (The Antidepressants version 4.0, I think). I can now bring a full band rock show to my second album's songs. This makes me mighty happy. We played as a four piece on Black Swamp Arts Festival weekend. We did a three piece performance at a party adjacent to the Luckey Fall Festival. And this weekend, we get to do it again!

This Saturday, I'm playing at Stone's Throw (my home away from home). I will be splitting sets with the immensely talented April Freed. I go on for an acoustic set from 9:45 to 10:30. After April's second set, TheMikeDuBose and the Antidepressants bring the rock from 11:15-midnight. It will be a blast and a half, and I'd really love to see you there.

Tonight, though, I'm doing a warm-up at The Hump Day Revue, where I'll get about four or five songs on acoustic. Also, my horn player Nick Zoidberg will be joining me. I will have copies of both albums for sale, and I'd also love to see you tonight.

In the meantime, isn't this weekend's flyer very green?

my second album's release

It's been entirely too long since I released my debut album Skeleton Coast. I really wanted to get a follow-up out fairly quickly. Life, though, has a way of intervening whenever possible. There was production issues. There was a year-long detour into a cover band in an attempt to actually make money playing music (spoiler: it didn't work). There were work crises. Some times, it seemed like everything possible which could delay my work did delay my work.

No worries, though. Depression Monster is on track. Recording is done. Mixing is done. Mastering is done. Test copy has been ordered, delivered, reviewed, and approved. The final order has been shipped. Files are on Bandcamp.

It's really hard for me to get perspective on my work anyway, and when I've been working on an album this long, it's nigh impossible. Nevertheless, it sounds very, very good to my ears. I've given it to a few people I really trust, and they tell me it's as close to "official major label release" in sound as one can get. Nick Zoidberg, my compatriot, is relatively gaga over the album. All these are good signs.

There will be much more coming about the album in the next few weeks. Today's news, though, is that the scheduled Saturday album release show has been cancelled due to accidental double booking. No worries, though, as I'll now be playing at Stone's Throw (my home base) the next three months: on September 9 (Black Swamp Arts Festival weekend!), October 7, and November 11. I'll also be hitting many other area establishments, so there will be many opportunities to see me and snag a disk. Can't get to a show yet still want the physical artifact? E-mail me at themikedubose@yahoo.com and I will work something out.

If you're the kind of person who does their music digitally, the album is available for pre-order on my Bandcamp page. If you order now, you get an immediate download of the opening track "Mileage." The full album goes live this Saturday, August 26.

Big things are happening. Stay tuned.