doing the zoo

First off, let me say that I am happy to be working for the Toledo Zoo. I am happy that me and my wife will not have to starve this summer. I also think that this will be a much better job than doing the security guard thing I've talked about, and it should be more fun than going back to the pizza making thingie.

I have quickly found out what makes a good zoo employee, and it's first off, showing up for work. My first week, I work two days. My second week, I'm up to four.

It's really nice working with customers again. I did this for my 9+ years at Little Caesar's Pizza, and I always enjoyed it. Plus here, I get the benefit of watching parents deal with their screaming kids. I already had one return a toy that her daugher "pocketed." The look on her face was classic.

On the down side, I have to stand on concrete the whole time I'm there, which has made me aware that I need to patronize Dr. Scholls. My feet ached like hell after a full day shift. I told this to my wife, who responded with "you mean, they make you stand all day?"...which is interesting, because her job also makes her stand the whole time. For some reason, I pointed out the irony instead of just taking whatever sympathy I could get.

I have been, no lie, instructed to play with a yo-yo when I'm not busy. Apparently, it's in the hope that kids will see me play with the yo-yo and then bug their parents for one. So far, it does work, but the majority of parents tell their kids "no" and drag them away as fast as they can.

We have a cd player, but apparently there are only three approved cds. First, a Beach Boys greatest hits disk, then the soundtrack to some Disney film (with Phil Collens singing a tune, no less), and finally, kiddie music (sample lyric: "you take the peanut butter and you squish it, you squish it, then you take the grapes and you squish 'em, you squish 'em"...I know, sheer poetry). I asked if I could burn a Beatles disk, but I was told that for some reason, the zoo doesn't like the Beatles. Apparently, someone also got in trouble for playing (no lie) Huey Louis & the News.

Anyway, I've been leaning towards the Beach Boys on the grounds that the other two really reek, but that backfired on me...when I got home last night, I was hearing Brian Wilson & co. in my head all evening. I'm sure that by the end of the semester, I'll rip the throat out of anyone who dares play "Kokomo."

Just keep me away from karyoke, for the love of God.