the Mike of days past

As step one in the book manuscript process, I've been plowing through all my theory-related stuff on my computer. What I found of particular interest is that, if my various doctoral theory classes were any indication, I've always been a real smartass. Here, for the amusement of all you academics out there, are the Greatest Hits:

• [after reading some postmodernism] Honestly, it is enough to make one disgorge their flagon of mead.
  
• One of the distinct powers of heavy critical theory is that it has the ability to render one a blithering idiot in no time flat. Thankfully, the idiofying (?) works in many directions. Not only are the readers rendered incapacitated, the authors also come across as (as Y puts it) obfuscatory idiot bastards. My question is: this stupification encoded, decoded, or recoded?
  
• late capitalist reality is an endlessly f$@#ed up realm of self-reciprocating commodified signification a la Baudrillard meets some voodoo economists
  
• [after a day of Adorno and Horkheimer] If any of these authors are still alive, can someone please tell me—I want to kill them. They will die a slow, bloody death. I have always enjoyed reading material which argues against the object of which I plan to spend the rest of my life studying.
  
• Adorno reads like Baudrillard in the middle of a bad whiskey drunk.
  
• I found myself praying that I would hurry up and get through Habermas so I could read something intelligible, like...Baudrillard. Clearly, this signifies a strange turn of events....Habermas, though, runs into problems with his gawdawful prose, which is as dense as high-school chili.
  
• In answer to X’s question, I’m not really sure if this post is the same post that’s in postmodern or postcolonial; what I do wonder about, however, is if the fact that my breakfast cereal was made by Post affects the issue. Maybe I should print out this question and find a post on which to post it. Excuse me...that was the guy from the post office.
  
• Last semester, I actually had a freshman ask me what the true nature of reality was (no kidding). The topic also came up in my history class, in several of my papers, several times while drinking, and once on a date (and let me tell you, that one went well). So I have been giving thought as to how someone who believes in the postmodern world can have the courage to do anything other than curl up in the fetal position, whimper, and suck your tongue. I wonder about this on a daily basis. Honestly.