occupation

Today, my child is at her summer care program (run by her school). She's on a field trip to the zoo, so I have the day to work. You think that summer for a teacher would be a time of vacation, of international travel, of lazing about, but that's not the case for me. Already, I have spent a over a week grading AP exams. I've played an area festival. And I'm close to finishing my second album.

Why do work when one doesn't have to? Well, in the case of the grading, it's that I need the money. Grad school leads to a lot of debt, and I still haven't come close to clawing my way out of it. Next year, I might even have to look into additional grading employment, as I recently found out that I'm ineligible for the government program for forgiving public servants of their student loans. Why? Because I took advantage of another government program to consolidate my loans over a decade ago. This is a blow, because getting my student loans forgiven might've helped free up enough cash to me to make some headway on my credit card debt. That ain't happening now.

I discovered my loan forgiveness ineligibility yesterday. In spite of that, however, I'm in a pretty decent mood. While the therapy and antidepressants certainly have a large role in my peaceful state of mind, they are far from the only factors. Having a great family also helps (see my previous posts about my strange child), but managed expectations also play their part...and they are largely a product of science fiction.

After dropping off my daughter, I came home, broke out the Aeropress, and put on just a little television. Last night, I found out that Hulu has the television version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, so I watched an episode or two while drinking my coffee and plotting the day. That's when I heard this quote:

Perhaps I'm old, but the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it" and keep occupied.

This quote (along with its radio, novelization, and cinema versions) resonates with me and also explains my summer shenanigans. Why play music? Why work on an album which, in the grand scheme of things, few people will actually hear? Why in fact try to accomplish anything?

To me, this is answered in another Hitchhiker's quote (this time from the book):

there comes a point I'm afraid where you begin to suspect that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs

Will thinking about things help? Probably not. Instead, focus on what you can do. Me? I can raise my kid. I can write songs. I can keep moving.

That's enough.

Who cares? Perhaps I'm old, but the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote the only thing to do is to say, "Hang the sense of it" and keep occupied.

Read more: http://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=the-hitchhikers-guide-to-the-galaxy&episode=s01e04